I want surgery, I will get surgery.
As I child growing up, as young as year 6 (yes you read correctly) getting breast reduction was always on my mind, and as I started to get older it became one of my biggest insecurity.
The size of my breast was always problematic for me, it was even more harder when other kids would try to tease me about it (LOL my come backs were always strong, so that never really worked)
Finding clothes that looked flattering and cute for my age was always frustrating, I remember becoming so frustrated that I would always make my mother buy me clothes that were oversized, because it made me feel more comfortable. oversized clothes literally became my best friend and dark colours too.
Sometimes I would break down in tears when no one was around because I began to feel uncomfortable with my body.
When I got to year 10, I remember seating down on my bed and flicking through the Bible, I came across a scripture that would forever change my life:
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
It was as though God was telling me that he loves me the way that he created me, and I should love myself too, what I felt in that moment, I cannot describe it, it is one of those things that you will have to experience for yourself in order to understand what I am talking about.
That does not mean that I don’t feel some type of ways about my chest at times, it just means that I have learnt to control those negative emotions, so that it does not control me or the ways in which i view my body.
There are thousands of women who would willingly pay to have what I have, and in the process or later on in life, some unfortunately end up finding themselves in situations whereby they have health implications because of these surgeries.
I have learnt to accept me, and love me the way that God created.
The moral of the story is that whatever you don’t feel 100% happy about, someone else is wishing to have what you have or even pay to have it.
Until you learn to love yourself, you will never know how to really love others.